just a quick bitch session.

As much as the show has lived up to all of the media hype, which im dearly thankful for...Underbelly's lack of attention to detail is really starting to fricking shit me!

In a show where the events are supposed to have taken place circa. 1995 - 2004 it really breaks my attention when the sub-standard Channel 9 producers can't do their job properly and keep the set in the time frame.

In episode 5 during a scene when there's some pretty serious beat-downs occurring on a poor shop-keep who couldn't afford the protection money i started to hear the song 'La Musique' in the background, the early 2006 release from Australian Electro-duo Riot In Belgium. Now as catchy as this song is, it was quite jarring in its effect of pulling my attention away from Jason Moran to thinking of a memory i have seeing the DJ's play in Byron Bay.

Perhaps the 1997 release 'Smack My Bitch Up' by The Prodigy would have been more appropriate considering the time of the release and of course the nature of the scene, because i can hardly see Jason Moran being a fan of One-Love. Actually I'm pretty sure the guy got jailed for going into a club and kicking the living shit out of 13 people.

Episode 6 opens with Adelaide's own Yeah Yeah Yeah's rip-off Little Birdy and their 2006 single 'Come on Come on'. Other episodes feature Spiderbait with their one listenable song, 'Buy Me a Pony' and later, their horridly annoying cover of 'Black Betty.'

Like seriously, if this show's primary demographic is the Australian population who are interested in Australian crime, chances are they are gonna know a thing or two about Australian music as well.

I appreciate the show's intention to give some Aussie music airplay but they could have at least done a bit of research and used music of that era to give the show added authenticity. Everyone knows that Spiderbait are just a shitter version of You Am I anyway.

Like fuck Channel 9. Is it that hard to do your job properly?

Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings

For those people still mourning the tragic loss of James Brown, heed and rejoice! The Godfather of Soul has been re-incarnated into the form of a 4ft-something African-American by the name of Sharon Jones. And my word is she sexy.

Touring around the Meredith Golden Plains Festival, the 52 year old mistress from Georgia played an astounding 6 side-shows on top of her festival commitments, an effort only highlighting the laziness of every other fucker in the business. On the 11th of March I ventured to the elegant Gershwin Room, upstairs at the otherwise dingy, crack-whore infested Esplanade Hotel, a place i actually love dearly.

Playing a late show at 12.30am - the crowd were at first greeted on stage by the über cool Dap-Kings, pretty much the most influential soul band in the world at the moment. They looked as if they'd just stepped out of the Delorean coming straight from some 1930's smoky jazz house in the middle of down-town New York.

Lead guitarist and MC Binky Griptite was the first to speak, coming out the shadows during the Dap-Kings opening jam session to introduce himself and the band, each soloing as they stepped forward to their name. Three trumpets, two saxophones, one drummer, one percussionist, a bass player, another guitarist other than Binky plus three saucy backing vocalists - it's pretty much the funk and soul equivalent to the Harlem Globetrotters. And after quite a few minutes of stirring the crowd and making us scream until i felt faint in the head for our leading lady, Sharon was introduced. Well. I don't think my ears will ever recover from that moment.

This woman had a lot to live up to, three albums down, the now defunct funk magazine Big Daddy proclaimed that their first release, 2002's Dap Dippin' with Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings "might be the best new funk album ever" and that, "this LP is a major triumph and a new standard has been set". But if there was ever any pressure to live up to, it wasn't even the opening song, it was the opening chords that blew them away.

Touring off their 2006 release 100 Days, 100 Nights, Sharon literally did not stop moving for the 1.5 hour set - which was an impressive length in itself considering the time - but it's clear that either she is powered by Energiser batteries or the lady just loves to get her funk on. Along with her Studio 54-esque dancing, and i mean the actual club in Manhattan not the shitty 1998 movie with Neve Campbell - Ms Jones's voice is just jaw dropping.

Some readers might think comparisons to James Brown are over-drawn at first but anyone who has seen this cheeky bird will testify - she is the shit. For some crowd members, spines tingled, for this reviewer, personally i felt it deep in my rib cage, like it was food for my soul. The music did not stop, The Dap-Kings are that musically in-tune with each other that gaps between songs were filled with beautiful improvisational jazz, each letting the other have their moment to show us their world-renowned talent. I guess it's a luxury one gains from touring constantly since their conception in '02.

Their set list was balanced nicely with numbers taken from all three albums, naturally (no pun intended) and the crowd cheered for songs off her latest album proving the critics aren't the only ones who think it's gold. The lady's passion for her music is undeniable, her voice soaring as her body jiggled back and forth to the rhythm, and the dance-floor was doing much the same with no hip in the room remaining stationary. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding amongst the crowd, a feeling that we were all here for the same thing and over the sound of hundreds of toes tappin' the floor one could even make out a sing-a-long during favourites, 'Nobody's Baby','Tell Me' and 'What Have You Done For Me Lately?'

Giving a timeless and simply unforgettable performance, i left the Espy drunk from the sound of Sharon's voice and the ensuing dance-fest. I was smiling uncontrollably and my feet were hurting badly, it was a bit past 2am on a Wednesday morning and satisfied was an understatement to say the least. For the past 1.5 hours the Espy had been transformed from a hold-your-breath cesspool to a classic discothéque and it would never be the same again.

The only thing i can further say is, Mark Ronson, i finally understand and share your obsession. The Dap-Kings are exactly that. Kings.
Party on Wayne. Party on Garth.

Sunday Kicks @ The Espy Front Bar 5/3/08

Did you ever hear what happened to the guy that screamed out 'get a fucking bassist' to The White Stripes after they released White Blood Cells? He now sits on his arse in his shitty Detroit apartment and gets a humble pie delivered every day for the rest of his life as that album went on to become one of the greatest garage rock albums of all time and Jack White one of the most influential guitarists of the last 50 odd years. The reason i say this is because we all have to learn from the mistakes of the past and when Nick Murphy sits behind the keyboard with Fraser Walker on guitar and Will Jones behind the kit (without a bassist!?!!) you gotta listen to George Michael and have a little faith.

With only a handful of live shows under their belt this Melbourne 3-piece has already developed a surprisingly large cult following on the back of their recent hyped, energetic performances. Put simply, these guys know how to fucking party and want you to do just that. So in their first appearance at the infamous Espy hotel the boys barreled through 6 tracks, opening with the viciously funny Melbourne City, a song chronicling the observations of an alcohol soaked city on a Saturday night.

This is the place that i think the band belongs, their music; dark yet melodic seems to be a perfect soundtrack to a long, drunken walk home from a night on the town. Mr Walker, obviously a disciple of Master Frusciante has already mastered the art of atmospheric harmony creating an epic and spine-tingling cacophony, as he layered multiple guitar tracks over one another on their closing instrumental Daisy Loop.

It may seem like a simple and inane thing to comment on, but watching the Kicks play, you can tell they're digging what they do, there seems to be a comradery between the boys, and its obvious they are in tune musically. I think that's fucking cool, and it allows the band to impress individually as well as collectively. Nick's lyrical skill is very accomplished for his age, balancing wit with sensitivity and using his vocal acrobatics to soar over Fraser's melodies, but thankfully never over-doing it into wankery. Will's drumming is jaw-droppingly impressive with some of the coolest (and fastest) fills and rolls this reviewer has heard in quite awhile. All give one another time to shine and it is so refreshing to see a band with healthy egos that aren't in competition with each other on stage.

Obviously in awe of the packed room in front of them, Nick graciously thanked everyone for the turn out before launching into the newly written Clockwork Hearts which he describes as his token 'emo' song. Followed by crowd favourite Robot Symphony the crowd got their boogy on and the inevitable sing-along begun. And fuck it was worth it, do you ever feel as if you've ripped someone off? When they've given you something for a small amount of money and yet it doesnt feel right in the pit of your stomach? Well considering the cover charge for the night was a clumsy $5 i think i owe these guys about another $30. But we'll sort out the cash later, the gig left me bewildered and i was glad i'd kept my expectations at a reasonable point for them to blow them away in a short 30 minutes. I am certain that if these guys don't make it then the so-called Melbourne music scene has its head so far up its own arse it'll start to think the Rogue Traders actually create music.

Calling Sony record executives.....
get these guys a fucking deal already.

http://www.myspace.com/fucksundaykicks

The Best Albums of '07 - A highly subjective list

25. Justice - †
The most innovative electronic act to come out of France since Daft Punk and the hottest act right now on Paris's scorching label Ed Banger Records.

essential track: Phantom Pt. II

24. The Rakes - Ten New Messages

London boys come good on follow up to 2005's Capture/Release with a tight, polished indie-rock set that squeezes in all the hooks it can with dark, ironic humour a-plenty.

essential track: We Danced Together

23. Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings - 100 Days, 100 Nights
The lady who was once told that she didn't have "the right image" for funk and soul now IS the image for the best booty wiggling, love making music goin' round.
essential track: Tell Me

22. Modest Mouse - We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
Turning every indie boy's wet-dream into a beautiful reality, the Mouse added guitar legend and ex-Smiths member Johnny Marr to their line-up bringing new-found edge and energy to their unique, kooky, pop goodness.
essential track: Dashboard

21. Tegan And Sara - The Con
With producer Chris Walla (Death Cab For Cutie) T&S skipped up a few steps on the indie ladder with their 2007 offering adding gorgeous melody to their dark, emotive lyrics. Emo rock how it should have been: sincere and intelligent.
essential track: Floorplan

20. Kaiser Chiefs - Yours Truly, Angry Mob
The boys from Leeds followed up their brilliant debut Employment in typical tongue-bursting-through-cheek form, delivering a set full of sing-along songs for every man in a pub punching their fists in the air.
essential track: Ruby

19. Kings of Leon - Because of the Times
The only band since Lynyrd Skynyrd that pull off 'the hillbilly look' and still make it look sexy continue on their way to becoming one of the biggest bands of this generation winning over more fans to their cult with this polished third album.
essential track: On Call

18. The Shins - Wincing the Night Away
Princes of the alternative world, 'the garden state band' at their intriguing best with melodies that are sweeter than the first cherries of summer. This star just keeps getting higher...
essential track: Sea Legs

17. Interpol - Our Love to Admire
Fuck The Editors, the war has been won. Interpol returned with their most accessible LP to date tip-toeing the fine line between hook-filled pop and dark, sombre introspection. Breaking new ground with space and atmospheric beauty, all snide remarks gone with people starting to wonder if Interpol should still be compared to Joy Division, or maybe it should be the other way around?
essential track: No I in Threesome

16. Midnight Juggernauts - Dystopia
With more hype than Leonardo DiCaprio, was this album ever going to live up to the expectations of the electro-kids in the alley-way nightclubs? Now a corner-stone of Modular Records - the Juggers finally released their debut album and you know what? it was okay. But maybe not the ground-breaking Endtroducing-esque masterpiece we were all told to expect.
essential track: Into the Galaxy

15. Okkervil River - The Stage Names
Outta Left-Field? Hell Yeh! Shockingly Good? You know it. Okkervil surprising listeners with one of the most kick-ass horn sections in any pop band and everyone knows the air trumpet is way cooler than the air guitar.
essential track: A Girl in Port

14. Bright Eyes - Cassadaga
"the next Bob Dylan?" Okay everyone let's not go too far with the hyperbole, but i think we can all agree our Conor is damn talented. After I'm Wide Awake... and Digital Ash he could have gone one of two ways, and thank Christ he went this way. A sweeping, poetic piece of literature, Mr. Oberst's lyrics however dense they may be, are rapturous and socially aware.
essential track: Four Winds

13. Digitalism - Idealism
It seems Daft Punk-ism is a class also taught in Germany. Fun, happy dance music for the glow-stick inclined, it is hard to resist the catchy (repetitive) one-liners and clap-your-hands beats that make up the debut LP from these boys. With this release, Click Click Nightclub had their 2007 soundtrack.
essential track: Pogo

12. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81
Bluesy, Gritty, Leather-Jacket wearin' rockers return with their fourth album, and randomly enough, it's their best. Not many bands hit a career high on numero 4 but this cd makes you feel as if you were on a lonely highway, top down, doing 120 km/h with a cigarette hangin' outta your mouth. Fuck Yeh.
essential track: Weapon of Choice

11. Feist - The Reminder
The glory-girl of 2007, Ms. Leslie Feist, a member of the Broken Social Scene released the sleeper hit of last year to only mild critical praise. Four syllables changed this: one two three four. Apple picking up on her sultry voice, hip-shaking talents and annoyingly catchy lyrics for an iPod ad and the rest is commercial pop history...
essential track: My Moon My Man

10. Bloc Party - A Weekend In The City
Darker and harder with hints of electro - Kele and the crew survive the pressure of the second album, brilliantly creating their disenchanted ode to London. From the conformity of youth (Uniform) to the growing race segregation of London (Hunting For Witches) Kele unleashes his obvious anger with the power of the band's angular guitars. Yet it is with his softer more delicate moments he kills us, balance has never sounded so conflicted as Kele proves that he's not afraid to show us his wounds.
essential track: I Still Remember

9. Kanye West - Graduation
It is only with an album like this that Kanye gets away with being such a blatant tosser. Proving himself with Late Registration and continuing to enlarge his own head for the following three years, Mr. West returned with proof he was the best Hip-Hop producer in the world. Sampling everyone from Daft Punk to Elton John to Michael Jackson, he showed considerable improvement as a lyricist and silenced his critics, finally earning the praise that he repeatedly gives himself.
essential track: Homecoming (ft Chris Martin)

8. Silverchair - Young Modern
The boys are back in town...after an extended hiatus and cringe-worthy side-project from Daniel Johns, the original trio from Newcastle got back together and went Talking Heads on our unexpecting asses. Never one to dwell on the same sound, Johns used his ego to his advantage pushing the boundaries of what is considered a pop song and hits all the right notes.
essential track: Mind Reader

7. Memories & Dust - Josh Pyke
Don't you just love it when artists take their time to release an album after a good EP and come out with something incredibly mind-blowing? Boom! Josh Pyke has landed, after his 2005 mini-album Feeding the Wolves, the man who makes Australian folk cool arrives with a contagious, intelligent and down-right heart-warming debut. Not since Damien Rice's O has a folk-pop debut sounded so mature and accomplished.
essential track: Memories & Dust

6. LCD Soundsystem - Sounds of Silver
James Murphy should be given a genre of his own, possibly called 'intelligent electronic music'. After his scattered self-titled debut, the man's first real long player is close to being a masterpiece, chronicling the realisations of a man who is becoming weary of the scene. Destroying the pretensions of dance music and taking its repetitiveness with it, Mr. New York offers a beautifully honest and uplifting album with the most original beats since Mylo.
essential track - New York, I love you but you're bringing me down

5. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
Like nothing you have ever heard before in your life. 3-part harmonies, you're thinking Bee Gees. Wrong. Air-raid sirens, you're thinking Zombie Nation. Wrong. This is indie-electro tastiness that makes even Mormons wanna dance and scream like they got a pair. Mercury prize winners and psycho live performers - watch out for these guys if they don't disappear back to Mars or wherever the fuck they came from.
essential track: Atlantis to Interzone

4. Mark Ronson - Versions
If you don't know Mark Ronson, simply take out the inside cover sleeve of your Lily Allen or Amy Winehouse or Adele album. The best commercial funk producer in the bizz debuts with his name on the front cover with a selection of re-workings and covers. Odd, personal and interesting selections the likes of Radiohead, Coldplay, The Smiths and Britney Spears all get deconstructed and reimagined as swing/soul and funk numbers to varying brilliance. But one thing is constant, this guy knows his shit and when he nails something, it's not a cover but a creation of his own.
essential listen - Stop Me (if you've heard this one before)

3. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
These Canadian orchestral wonders owned 2004. Funeral was a pop masterpiece for the 21st century and not one critic dared to say otherwise, and if they did, they had no taste. 2007 saw the release of their second coming, an apocalyptic warning of sorts with Win Butler, our prophet preaching the dangers of fundamentalist religion and political terror. The complexities of their music add to their intrigue and vibrancy with French horns, mandolins, piano organs and accordions lacing their gospel style anthems. Some were disappointed that it didn't match Funeral yet this reviewer would have been angry with a part two, consider Neon Bible as a god send.
essential track: Keep the Car Running

2. Radiohead - In Rainbows
Pressure? Pfft! These guys have it on toast for breakfast. The most hyped band since Nirvana made headlines for their business acumen yet the fact they undermined the music industry did not take away from their most perfect work since 97's OK Computer. Walking the tightrope between their indie-rock origins and their electronic fancy, In Rainbows succeeds in its accessibility (not something Radiohead are famous for) and its lyrical depth. Thom Yorke at his cryptic best delivers beautifully delicate vocals over tight harmonic guitar lines. The Brit-Pop Kings still hold the throne.
essential track: Jigsaw Falling Into Place

(drum roll)

1. Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare
A service announcement to all music lovers: Alex Turner is a genius. Child prodigy, whatever label you want to give the kid, he sure does give you something to get excited about. Barely a year since they broke every record in the book and had everyone asking 'who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?' with their debut album Whatever People Say I Am, Thats's What I'm Not - the boys return with a louder, faster, harder album that tells the world one thing, it was no fluke. Angrier and more polished, the Monkeys brought on Simian Mobile Disco to produce, losing the garage twang and coming out with 12 brutally cool songs about the things that happen when you're Britain's hottest band. With a tongue as sharp as Dylan's and a sound Oasis wish they still had, there wouldn't be a single musical soul in Greater Britain right now that wouldn't say these guys are the heirs to Radiohead's throne. Indie-Rock defined in 2007.
essential track: 505